well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
