I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
