it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
