my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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