Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
