ya dads aren't the best wingmen
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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