call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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