Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
