I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
