That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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