i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
