What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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