Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
