How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
