Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Can Purell be used as lube?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
