cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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