Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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