..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
