guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
