today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
