It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
