Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
