were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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