He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
