I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
