Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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