i don't like sucking hair
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He? As in you personified your dick?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
