Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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