a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
