Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
