all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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