I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
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