I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
