Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel like death gave me a hand job
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
