dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
