This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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