I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The beers last night were like the tears from god
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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