whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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