It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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