So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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