He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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