Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
