and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize