That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
