Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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