Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
no you cant smoke seaweed
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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