Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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