I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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