Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
