8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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