I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Sober January is a disaster.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize