its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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