In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
