hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
