I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
