Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
