In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I miss vodka workout Fridays
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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