Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
