I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
