She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
