I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
