I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
