I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I know her cup size but not her name....
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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