Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
