I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
