have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
