There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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